Baskets of Idiocy
by roo17
Summary: "I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to send someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane." One-Shot. Luffy finds out he can send people food and decides to test it out.


Baskets of Idiocy

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**Summary**: "I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to send someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane." One-Shot. Luffy finds out he can send people food and decides to test it out.

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**Warning**: Idiocy between brothers. XD Oh, and if you haven't read the manga, this might contain a little spoiler for the Dressrosa Arc.

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**Disclaimer**: Is this even necessary? I mean, really! You know what? Screw it. I'm NOT writing a disclaimer saying I Do Not Own One Piece, and that's FINAL! ...Wait a second. ...Dammit!

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**x.x.x.x.x**  
I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like 'Huh? What the hell is this?', but if it's in a fruit basket you're like 'This is nice!'  
-Demetri Martin  
**x.x.x.x.x**

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It was another boring day for Luffy, who, at the current moment, was slouching on a bench in Dressrosa Park watching the pigeons peck at the birdseed an elderly man had thrown to them earlier. He sighed, lifting his sunglass up so he could rub his eyes. He ultimately decided the sunglasses were useless– seeing as currently there were white clouds hiding the sun– and placed them on the rim of his straw-hat. He absentmindedly scratched at the white beard he wore, slightly moving it out of place. He quickly fixed it back though; not wanting any of the security guards to recognize his identity.

Two weeks ago Luffy had caused a big ruckus in the park, managing to take out five of the six slides in the small playground, along with a swing, several trees, two benches, and the women's restroom. (Luffy _claims_ it wasn't his fault– even to this day he sticks to his guns on that.) So, as punishment, he was to banished from the park for at _least_ six months. Normally he would have listened and stayed away– mostly due to the fact Ace absolutely would _not_ let him break the law– but this was his most favorite park yet– besides Little Garden which was such an _awesome_ park– and he didn't want to leave it for six months. It was quiet, peaceful, and had its occasional surprises. So Luffy bough a disguise, a white beard and glasses, and so far it was actually working out pretty well for him.

Though he had a feeling he'd get caught sooner or later.

Giving another sigh, he placed his glasses back on his eyes as another security guard walked by. "I'm so bored," he whined. "There's absolutely nothing to do... And everyone I know is busy..."

"...was so nice! I was really surprised to receive something like that in the mail."

"I would be too! I don't think I've ever gotten one before now that I think about it." Luffy looked to the side where two elderly ladies sat, one drinking some hot tea while the other painted on a miniature canvas.

"I still haven't touch it yet, but I plan to when I get home today."

"Ooh, you simply must let me look at it. I haven't seen a fruit basket in years." Luffy's eyebrow rose above his glasses. _'A fruit basket? What is that?'_

"You should send one back to him. I'm sure he'd like one in return."

"Do you think so? I suppose I could. The post office doesn't close until three-thirty." The young male continued to stare until a lightbulb went off in his head. "I can send fruit through mail, eh? I think I finally found something to pass the time..."

"Oi! You!" Luffy snapped his head to the side, his eyes falling on a security guard. A _mad_ security guard. "You're not supposed to be here!" Luffy quickly got up and ran for the exit, the guard hot on his tail.

"Sorry! Gotta go! See ya some other time!"

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Nami sat up in her bed and gave a long stretch, feeling all her tension slip away. "That was a nice nap," she smiled, standing up and heading to her window. "Looks like today's going to be a nice day after al–"

_Ding-Dong!_

She looked to the front door, a look of confusion coming over her. "Huh? I wonder who that could be." Opening the door, she came face to face with a mailman.

"Special delivery for a Nami? Please sign here." The female took the pen and signed before grabbing her box and looking down at the return address. "Fūsha... That's where Luffy lives." She walked into her bedroom and set the small package on her bed, a smile former on her lips. "I wonder what that little troublemaker sent me." She opened the box and dumped out its contents only to find... a fruit? She looked down at the fruit, somewhat weirded out by it, when she spotted a note next to the fruit. Picking it up, she read it.

_'Hi Nami!'_

Nami honestly didn't know how to respond as she stared at the note. "I swear, he just keeps getting weirder and weirder..."

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Ace facepalmed, earning a confusing look from his brother who stood there blinking. "Luffy, you don't just send _one piece_ of fruit. You send a _bunch_ of fruit in a _basket_."

Luffy blinked again before realizing his mistakes. "Ohhh, I seeee. Shishishi, I get it!" Ace rolled his eyes at his brother's idiocy.

"Really, Luffy, even _I_ thought you knew that." Nonetheless, a smile formed on the freckled male's lips and he ruffled Luffy's hair. "You really are a funny one, you know.

Luffy laughed. "Thanks, Ace! You are too! So, can we go eat now? I'm kind of hungry."

"I know you are, Luffy," Ace sighed contently. "I know you are."

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*_Meanwhile, 2,000 miles away*_

Marco gave a sigh, his shoulders slumping. He looked down at the package he had received only moments ago. It was a basket _made_ of fruit. The note next to his gift read, _'Hey Marco, I made you a FRUIT basket! Get it? XD'_

Marco sighed again, shaking his head lightly. "I can't escape your idiocy even after traveling two-thousand miles, can I, Ace..."

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**XxXxX  
******Picture belongs to kasukii from deviantart!  
Yeah, there's it is! I've been wanting to write this ever since I heard Demetri Martin's Fruit Basket joke almost two years ago. And I finally wrote it! Yeah, I just HAD to drag Marco into it. I just love messing with him. It's so fun! Anyway, there's a short one-shot. Hope you guys kinda liked it!**

**Oh! Please take my poll on my page! Please? It's kinda important. Arigatou gozaimasu! Have a great day/morning/night!**

_Your shy ice elemental,  
~roo the psycho_


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